Live Metanoia

To Live With Grace

To start my second post, I would like to toss some knowledge at you. The definition of the word Grace from Dictionary.com is:

noun

-elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action: 

 -a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment: 

-favor or goodwill.

-a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior.

The biblical definition from Biblestudytools.com defines Grace as;

The word “grace”, like forgiveness, repentance, regeneration, and salvation, mean something as broad as describing the whole of God’s activity toward man or as narrow as describing one segment of that activity. An accurate, common definition describes grace as the unmerited favor of God toward man.

Now I don’t know a whole lot about a whole lot, but I think the way 2020 has been thus far and how people have acted, we all could live with a little Grace. Because let’s be real, 2020 has been a crapshoot and people have been downright nasty to each other and that breaks my heart. 

I do not think my eyes have never been more open to the pettiness of others as of this year. Maybe it’s because I am paying more attention. Maybe it’s because I’ve personally been affected by the current atmosphere of our country. Political years always seem to bring out the worst in others, however this isn’t a post about politics. I will try not to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole. This post is about how we, the human race, need to recognize each other as fellow human beings and to treat each other as such. For example, I have a friend- a friend who has not talked to me or acknowledged me reaching out to her in months. Now, how do I feel about this? 

Hurt. Angry. Confused. 

I honestly don’t understand what I did, or what has caused this radio silence from her end, however as hurt as I am, I am trying to have some empathy and grace and hope that whatever is going on her side will get better and she will come to me as a fellow adult and explain her feelings and what’s been going on. Maybe it’s not even about me? But how would I know if I’m not told?

Will this happen anytime soon?

Psh, probably not. 

Do many adults know how to communicate effectively for something like this to happen?

Hah, a no. 

Why don’t I be the “bigger person” and come to them with my hurt feelings? 

Because I’ve done that before. Because I am always the one who does that. Because I am tired of being the only one to put in effort, to try. 

So how does one exhibit Grace in this situation? 

Should I be patient and let this person have time?

How much time is enough verses them being crappy friends?

Should I pull a Frozen and Let It Go? 

I. Do. Not. Know

What I am trying to do however, in my imperfectly human way, is have some freaking Grace. 

To try and understand that not all people are as invested in relationships like I am. 

To have empathy and compassion and forgive, no matter how many ‘growing pains’ it is causing me. 

Because how can I be a better human if I don’t turn my soul to the Lord who made me, and ‘pull a Jesus’ and forgive when I am feeling angry or hurt? Even if not for them, maybe for myself? To bring me peace and happiness?

It’s here when I wonder about everyone else, especially my fellow Jesus lovers, Good Vibers, and Christians. Because ladies and gentlemen (if any dudes read this), Jesus sees what you post on social media. Or Karma will find your petty post not cute. You don’t get a ‘get out of jail free’ card because it’s said on the internet and not said in person. Any actions taken, in life or online, define who you are to others and are examples of your character.  What you say, share, post, etc. says a lot about you and who you are. This is the view that most of the world sees each other through now. How are we to show this world, as cold as it is, how humble and graceful we can be when we are too busy acting like ‘keyboard warriors’ on social media? Does this sound like Christian-like behavior to you? Even if you aren’t religious, does this sound like decent human behavior? Put some good Karma out in the world, and BE NICE.

As I am writing this, I realize this is not how I intended this post to go. Honestly, I wanted it to be more kumbaya and uplifting. But my friends, we must engage in a world filled with outrage with love. With grace. With God (or Good vibes or whatever). More compassion for a fellow man is not wanted- it’s needed. 

And don’t think I write this without knowing I don’t struggle with this as well.

I am a very self-aware individual.

Sometimes I become irrationally angry at the actions of others. Sometimes I am jaded and sad, wondering how the tender hearts of this world continue to live on in such darkness. I wonder why our country is so set on division and why we have to ‘pick sides’. 

Then I am reminded that hey, there are no sides. Regardless of black or white, of male or female, Republican or Democratic, etc. we are all American. We are all children of God. 

            Side note; If you didn’t think of the song, ‘Jesus loves the little children’ at this part I am disappointed in you. 

There is only one side. The lords.

I think about a scripture a Pastor, Pastor Josh, I watch on Facebook used in one of his recent sermons. 

            Philippians 2: 14-16:  Do all things without grumbling or disputing, ¹⁵ that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, ¹⁶ holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

My lord above, these verses were mind blowing for me when I heard them. A crooked and twisted generation, yes indeed. Our world has been inherently evil since a certain serpent slithered into a garden. The children of God of this world and the pure hearted have struggled and waded through the mud since the devil decided he could tempt and try them. 

Another side note: Not Today Satan.

I remember I am not alone. I remember that I should hold fast to God because when the world pushes at me, God can push back– harder. I remember that when there is evil, and pettiness, and hurt, and anger in this world that there’s love, and kindness, and compassion, and yes- Grace. I remember if I try to be more like Jesus, and less of this world, grace is easily within reach. 

I remember that this is not my end home.

So, I will work on it, this grace thing. I will try to show more love and kindness (but the sarcasm stays- I can only do so much). I will remember we are all humans stumbling through this dark, angry time trying to make it. I will try to forgive. I will try to be a light.

How else are we to be better if we don’t reach for perfect love like Jesus? 

My journey continues, 

-Kaycee