Live Metanoia

In my last post I mentioned I had surgery at the beginning of June. To expand more on that and it’s complications I did NOT expect, I need to establish a little history.

I have had headaches and migraines since I was nine years old. They would physically make me ill, causing dizziness and vomiting and sensitivity to light. I would have to physically sleep them off in a dark room. Imagine being a child with such an intense pain in your head it feels like someone has cracked the side of your head open and is slowing pulling it apart with their fingers.

My parents and I tried everything to help ease them. Literally. Diet change, allergy shots, and eye doctor appointments. I got over 20 shots of botox around my head in attempt to Paralyze the nerves or system that was causing them. I can’t tell you how many medications I tried. Shots to the thigh, seizure meds, daith piercings, etc. These either didn’t work or gave me such a short relief it wasn’t worth fighting my insurance company over.

I started going to a chiropractor around college age. The chirco actually helped, easing a lot of neck and upper back pain I suffered from holding tension from the headaches and migraines. I also got massages when I could. Then even that started to get expensive. Once your body is adjusted and in alignment you can easily tell when it’s not. Once a therapist is able to unknot the knots in your neck and shoulders, you suffer when you get them again. I started working my “big kid” job with different hours and shifts and I just could not get in to the Chiro as I would have liked. Let’s not even talk about the fact American healthcare is horrific and my co-pay for each session was high as hell.

So after going to the Chiro for a long time, I had a little bit of relief for some years. Never the less, these past two years my migraines and headaches came back with a vengeance. I started going again regularly, but would only get a couple of weeks relief and then I would have a horrible headache or migraine. I tried these shots you inject into your leg that’s supposed to help but had a bad skin reaction to them and it seemed I wasn’t getting any relief.

My chiropractor mentioned surgery a couple of times and how it may be an option for me. I had swollen discs in my neck and upper back. I was working out during this time as well so it was not like I was super heavy or unhealthy. But I was running out of options, and honestly I was exhausted. I was tired of constant pain. I was tired of hurting and taking medication upon medication. I was tired of feeling like I would never function like a normal person.

I went to a Neurologist, trying my luck with them. They prescribed me medicine that only helped half the time, so only some relief. I was at my wits end. So I had a consultation with a surgeon.

I was told my surgery was a six week recovery with two weeks of that on “light duty” where I would work office type work. I could possibly be out eight weeks total. I was ok with that. My job understood and I was good to. But what was what I thought would be an easy six week recovery turned into what’s going on three months.

Three. Months.

I had my surgery at the beginning of June. It’s now September. I did not mentally prepare myself for complications. I did not even think I would suffer them. I thought I would go in, have surgery, recover, spend a couple of weeks light duty, and be fine. That was a big nope. Life basically slapped me in the face.

It started off three weeks after my surgery when I started to have stitch separation at two of my incisions. My surgery was one of the more extensive ones my surgeon had done in a while- his words. I was reassured that sometimes this happens and that there was nothing to be worried about and that the wounds would close up- again his words.

However, the wounds got bigger. Much bigger. I kept a constant email chain to my surgeon taking pictures of the ever expanding wounds and stressing out about them (they tell you not to do that, but how could I not?). It got to a point that he put me on a wound vacuum to “help” aid in recovery.

Now I didn’t know much about the wound vacuum. I knew it helped closed the wound, but I didn’t know that it would be extremely painful to change out. I wasn’t aware that the sponge connected to your wound also was welded to your new skin and you had to peel that sucker off to put a new one on. It was horrendous. But it kind of worked. I say kind of because it healed my wound from the inside out. My wounds were very deep and it did help bring new skin in from the inside so that was good, but they were still large.

I was frustrated and upset. I had been on the wound vacuum for four or so weeks and when I went to my surgeon for a follow up, he was surprised to have not seen quicker results. I myself was surprised at his reaction and lack of other options. And I concerned. He wanted to keep me on the wound vac and couldn’t tell me for how much longer I would need it. It was like a guessing game with him. And I don’t know if that’s normal, or when there are wound complications if it opens up a game of “wait and see” but I just felt like I wasn’t getting reassurance other than the doctor saying he was sorry this happened to me. I asked him if there was anything else that could help the healing process. He told me I could get a skin graft.

A skin graft?!

I’ve seen skin grafts before, and I was NOT a fan of that. I didn’t want to have another procedure and another wound from the graft. I was worried about the graft healing as well if I was already having issues healing in the first place. I left the doctors office that day in tears. I could not believe the wound vac or a skin graft were my only options. There had to be something else to try.

The same day I called the wound center connected to my local hospital. They had great reviews, and when I called them and explained what was going on they made an appointment for me a couple of days laters. Honestly I just wanted a second opinion, because your telling me that in the year 2021 those were my only options to close my wounds ? That there was nothing else ? So I made an appointment with someone who specializes in wound care. Maybe they would tell me the same thing and if that was it, then so be it. (Guess what- it wasn’t).

The wound care doctor told me I wasn’t the first patient they’ve seen have this exact problem. She had experience with my wounds and that actually made me relieved. She also mentioned she had many patients who have had complications with surgeries before. I wasn’t the only person to have this problem. She said she could help without a wound vac or skin graft. Thank God. I immediately felt better and that I might be able to put this surgery behind me.

And at this time I sold my home, moved into an apartment and it was the beginning of August. I got cleared from the wound care doctor to go back to work on light duty. I could not sit at my apartment anymore or my parents home and stress about my healing situation. And as upsetting as the complications were, the surgery had helped. I haven’t had a migraine or headache since.

But then like this post and the previous one has stated- when it rains it pours, because two weeks after starting the healing process at the wound care clinic, I got an infection. A painful one. One where I had to be on three, THREE different antibiotics.

Can I please catch a break?

I believe the infection was probably my bad. There were some general cleaning rules I didn’t know about when changing out my bandages that I probably messed up on and caught it that way, really I don’t know, but it did set me back.

I’m currently finishing up the antibiotics. The infection was not a fun time. While I didn’t have any redness or oozing or anything that would land me on a reality show, it was very painful to the touch and sensitive. I was in constant pain, weather it was at a bearable level or not depended on how much ibuprofen I took. I think it’s gotten better so far and I’m hoping when I’m done with my medicine it will be back to normal because as of last week I thought I couldn’t take anymore.

That is until I caught COVID.

Yes, you heard me. I have a wound inflection and now COVID. I woke up a couple of nights ago sweating with body chills. I checked my temperature and I had a 102 degree fever. I don’t remember the last time I had a fever much less body shakes.

So I took myself to the ER, and low and behold a COVID test- bam, positive. I had to let the ER doctor know about the wound infection and the medication I was on for that so nothing could interfere with it. They gave me fluids, inhalers, and cough medicine and I was told to go home and ground myself for 10 days and not see anyone or do anything.

Here I am now.

In all honestly my symptoms aren’t as severe as others have had. Before diagnosis I thought all I would have was a sinus infection- I had a sinus headache and stuffiness but that was it. My lung feel clear and no breathing issues. My symptoms have gotten a little better since I was diagnosed a couple of days ago. No more headache or sinus issues however, I can’t taste food which is a torture within itself. I now have a slight cough but not anything deep or respiratory.m and I’m tired a lot but I don’t know if that comes with it or not. Other than no taste and chest cold symptoms, I feel that I can knock COVID off my bingo board of “WTH is Happening”.

I have constantly asked the universe why can’t I catch a break and it seems I’m answered with something worse every time. But I try and persevere.

I now believe that if this infection cannot take me out, and Covid can’t either, than I must be the Terminator. I’m hoping after my quarantine and I finish my medication I can be back on track with the wound care doctor. I feel like I have been sick or down for so long and that makes me feel bad. It makes me feel guilty.

I feel bad for my co workers and I want to be able to return to my normal duties. I want to be able to work out again. I want to be able to sleep comfortably without pain or worry. I hope and pray every night that this is just a season of struggle and there’s reward and relief in the end. That there’s light at the end of this tunnel. I mean there has to be right ?

Because when it rains it floods, but there’s always a rainbow after storm?

I guess I can only dig my heels into the mud and wait and see.

My journey continues.

-Kaycee