Live Metanoia

It’s December 31, 2020. The year 2020 is almost over. It has definitely been a year for the history books that’s for sure. I am currently writing this blog at my desk with my small dog shaking in my lap. My ‘neighbors’ have decided to shoot fireworks off illegally in the city where I live. It’s against city ordinance. They told me they don’t care. Lovely people they are. Let me tell you there’s one thing living in a neighborhood I can’t stand is inconsiderate people. I grew up on five acers out in the woods where our neighbors talked to each other and were nice. These people here? Not so much. I think it’s the entitlement. Maybe I’m just not used to living in ‘the city’ or a developmental ‘community’. Maybe all people act this way, and I had it good out in the woods. Who knows.

I know, right now I’m supposed to be writing this post as a year end review/ welcome New Year but instead I’m whining about my neighbors. Let me focus..

This year for me has passed by quickly. Maybe for some of you that’s not true. I know some of you have had to re-adjust like crazy due to the virus, and for school for your children, for work, etc. Luckily for me, that was not the case. My big kid job is a job that did not require me to work from home. In all actually, I could not work from home, it wasn’t possible. Where many had to download and figured out how Zoom worked, I still got up, got dressed, and went to my job and dealt with people. Front line/ first responder worker and all that. So, there wasn’t much change for me. Maybe that’s why the year seems like it’s flown by. 

There were some changes, however, small ones. I didn’t get to focus a lot on my “getting out of debt” idea for this year. I really wanted to budget and break down a lot of my credit card debt (it’s not a crazy amount, I just want it gone and to stop paying on it.) I also didn’t make 2020 my ‘year of health’. That’s laughable for sure. Year of Health? More like Year of Stress Eat and Stuff Your Face. Not to mention that ‘governmental grounding’ we got when the gyms, bars, and everywhere shut down for three months or so. 

I wanted to go to concerts and travel this year as well. COVID got me on those, rescheduling the concerts I had tickets for, and putting an indefinite hold on my travel plans. Furthermore, I ended up having to establish myself with a neurologist for migraines. I have had migraines since I was nine years old. For the past couple of years, they had been manageable. One to two a month, however this year those suckers ramped up to five or six migraines with stroke symptoms. I can’t talk or move, become disoriented and can’t follow conversations, light sensitivity, the whole shebang. I physically become ill and need to sleep them off. It hasn’t been a great time. With trying different medications, and getting expensive MRIs, health wise 2020 has been a pain in my butt and wallet, or maybe I should say head (horrible pun).  I feel that the stress of this year may have something to do with them? Or maybe it’s been the weather, with multiple tropical storms and hurricanes where I live, the on again- off again rain and changes in pressure have been crazy. 

2020 has also brought a lot of change for my countries population and our country in general. I mean we started out with COVID, had a ‘save the children’ celebrity pedophile ring be exposed (that has conveniently disappeared from the media), aliens were a thing, a media circus about our election, then a crazy election in general, followed by a who- is- our- president- we- don’t- know- because- of- voting- fraud scandal. Whew 2020 can you not? Now, at the end, we still have COVID issues, a vaccine is out that some report have caused ill effects and backlash, while others have said it works, we still don’t have an official president, and people are still working from home- or worse- they’re workless and homeless. To top it off our governmental officials have ‘graciously’ decided that $600 stimulus checks will automatically cure our problems, while they hand out millions to other countries, spitting in the faces of their own countrymen. How nice of them. 

I still have hope though. Maybe I am feeling delusionaly hopeful from just getting out of the Wonder Woman 1984 movie, where Wonder Woman is all ‘intellect, truth, and compassion’. I wonder what she would think of the nonsense of this year if she were real. I know I would be shaking my head if I were a superhero. Maybe it was a good way to end the year. With a hopeful “people have a choice to be great and truth is the way” message. As I have gotten older and experienced firsthand how downright nasty people can be, it has been a struggle to treat people with grace and compassion. I want to be like Jesus and love and forgive, but I also want to throat punch some and not get in trouble for it. Ugh, the duality- and you know, morals and ethics. But as I previously stated under all that saltiness, I have hope.

I have hope that 2021 will be a prosperous year. I pray for it. I put it out in the universe, I set that intention and I speak it in the name of Jesus. I hope that people calm down and grow up. I hope that people go back to work, because that I think is one of the larger problems. I hope that I focus on my health and wealth. I hope I can move, getting out of the suburbs and on some land away from others where I can be at peace when not at work. I hope next year is my year. I’ll be turning 30 next year. I am as terrified as I am excited. I hope to be able to travel next year, Halloween in Salem, Massachusetts sounds spookily delightful. I hope my work schedule changes to where I am able to go to church and get move involved in church, and hangout on the weekends with friends and family. I hope I am able to enjoy hobbies and just live life more. I hope to make changes in my life, not resolutions, but serious, life changes that I can hold onto and have positive outcomes. 

Ah, it sounds like a battlefield outside. Checking my clock, it’s midnight. Let the new year begin my friends. 

I hope you have set your intentions and have a great one. 

Let 2021 commence.

My journey continues,

Kaycee