Live Metanoia

As I have aged it has come more to my attention that there are people in this world who pretend to know you or like you but intend to do you harm.

I feel like women experienced this a lot growing up. You know, those middle school bullies and mean girls that would seem interested in you and what you had to say but would mock you later. I do not know if it was naïve of me to think that type of behavior stayed in middle and high school, but it always genuinely confused me that people who behave in that way still exist.

That there are people out there, actual adults, who seek to hurt others because they are lacking somewhere in their lives. They seek validation through spreading lies and gossip and creating problems. I really don’t understand this concept or major character flaw. I honestly believe that social media has made this lack in development worse. People who are “friends” read your post, like your stories, LOL in your comments, but you then find yourself being talked about negatively by them. What is this hypocrisy? What is this maladaptive behavior?

That these human beings have not developed emotionally enough that they have to do these horrific things to others… I really don’t understand. Did they stop reading? Learning? Communicating with others? Have they experience a trauma in some way that has stopped their ability to emotionally grow that instead of communicating their displeasure about something or just, you know, not engaging in this bad behavior at all, they decide to be petty and vindictive and just nasty instead?

Is it for clout? Is it for their own self esteem? Why do we tolerate it back?

The last question always has bothered me. Why do we tolerate these fake people who seek to destroy our happiness? Is it because some of these people are ‘work friends?’ or friends of friends? Friends of family members or your significant other? Or maybe even worse, they are family. Maybe they have been in your life for so long, slowly picking away at you that you don’t have the ability to let them go.

It is harder than one may think to stop pain when it’s become chronic. Your body adapts, you get used to being uncomfortable, to others hurting you, especially when they have been doing it for a lot of your life.

But I wonder, don’t both parties get tired? Isn’t the aggressor tired of being an ugly person? Of hurting those around them? Of being empty inside? Isn’t the victim tired of constantly being hurt? Of finding out that the people who they thought had their back was placing a knife in it?

I know when I find out that there are some in my circle who have been setting fires in my own camp, I get upset. I get hurt. And then I get pissed off.

Because how dare you take my trust and light it on fire? How dare you spread lies and rumors and start nonsense about me when you have never taken the time to actually know me. HOW DARE YOU. The audacity that these people have is astounding.

And for some of us we let them back into our camp. We build new tents and let them use our bedroll just for them to start another damn fire.

Some may say to forgive. And forgiveness is important. But we are not to forget. We are not to let this behavior continue. We are not to tolerate the lies, the hate, and the hurt.

You would think after 30 or more years of age people would know how to act. You wouldn’t think that grown women who are older than you would be so childish. That grown men with families and who are raising children, god forbid, are passing these trash traits down for their children to pick up and continue the spread of snakery.

I think it’s time to circle the wagons. It’s time to put your protection and happiness first. It’s time to unfriend, block, and stop entertaining these viruses of people who are looking to infect your joy.

I am tired of my joy being suffocated. Are you?

My journey continues

Kaycee